Torturing Fun with Itachi
by Ryu the Full Metal Ninja
Summary: A series starring Itachi torturing our favorite ninja. Next up: Neji, and the return of a prodigal son. Please read and review. I have returned!
1. Kakashi

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja and Windmaster324

Disclamer: Don't own Naruto (goes and cries in a corner)

"Hello, My Name is Itachi and I'll be your host today", he said. Itachi then steps out wearing a black tux with red clouds on it.

"Welcome to our first show of inhumane torture", he said with a cheesy game show host smile.

Our first vict- I mean contestant will be a very famous jonin from Konoha, the copy-cat Nin, who has copied over a 1000 jutsu, give a warm round of applause for. . . HATAKE KAKASHI!" Spotlight shines on Kakashi tied to a chair.

"Mmmmrpgh." Kakashi struggles to get out of the ropes

"Sorry Kakashi, but those are chakra ropes, your not getting out of those no matter how hard you try" Itachi says with a grin

"Let's start with Tsukiyomi, but don't worry folks, you will still be able to see the torture on this big screen monitor." Itachi opens his eyes and sends Kakashi into Tsukiyomi.

"For 72 hours, you will see your worst nightmare." Kakashi sees a horrific sight, himself wearing . . . THE GREEN SPANDEX!

"Yosh, my eternal rival, you have seen the power of youth, but you need one more thing to increase your flames of youth." Gai appears with a grin. He then holds up a bottle of hair growth." Youthful eyebrows!"

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Kakashi screams.

"Now let's burn those unyouthful books I used to read Gai."

"Yosh! KAKASHI!"

"GAI"

"KAKASHI"

"GAI"

Cue the evil genjutsu

Then it all fades away, Kakashi breathes a sigh of relief.

"71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go" Itachi says

And it starts all over again.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Kakashi screams and breaks down crying.

71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later . . .

Kakashi has collapsed in a fetal position on the floor.

"Well, looks like Kakashi has some pretty disturbing fears." Itachi says with a sweatdrop. He then feels a massive killing intent from behind him. He looks behind him and sees Kakashi free and with a raikiri charged up. "Oh crap." Itachi says, getting ready to run when all of a sudden,

"My eternal rival, I see now you wish to be youthful but are afraid to ask for help so you hide behind that hip attitude of yours" is heard from the audience. Kakashi looks in fear and sees Gai there." But don't worry Kakashi I shall help you cast off your hip attitude and embrace the power of youth!" he said with a blinding smile, pulling out a green spandex outfit and bottle of hair growth. Kakashi screams and runs away through the wall.

Itachi sweatdrops,"Well that was lucky"

"Not really boss, I gave him a free ticket to the show just in case." His assistant said.

"Good job, uh what's your name again?" Itachi asked.

"Ryu sir, me and Windmaster are the ones who caught Kakashi." The assistant said.

"Two questions, Whose Windmaster and how did you catch Kakashi?"

"Windmaster is your cameraman over there sir. He points at the cameraman who currently is reading a book. He looks up and says,"Yo" before going back to reading.

Itachi and Ryu both sweatdrop at the sight.

"We caught Kakashi by luring a limited edition Icha Icha Paradise." Ryu said.

"Excellent, What would you like as a reward?" Itachi asked.

"A raise sir."

"Ok-"they turn to hear the sound of a crunch and see WM eating a stick of pocky. "Are you eating my pocky WM?" he asked in a dangerous tone of voice."Tsukiyomi!"

"I guess we're not getting that raise huh?""Tsukiyomi."

Well that's the end of the show folks. Tune in next time for more torturing fun." He says grinning and munching on a stick of pocky.

Well that's my first story. Read and review. Tell me what you think and tune in for more fun with Itachi.

Suggestions welcome.

This is Ryu signing out.


	2. Sasuke

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

"Welcome back to Torturing Fun, I'm your host Itachi" He says."Last time on our show Kakashi was tortured by his darkest fears, but today we have a special gu-" He is interrupted by a loud crash backstage. "Excuse me folks, we seem to have a minor problem backstage."He said.

"Sorry boss he got loose, but we got him under control now." Ryu said. He was burned. WM was twitching in the background.

"Alright, now our next contestant is someone near and dear to my heart, he is a traitor to the leaf, an emo, and someone who would love to kill me and urinate on my cooling corpse, give a warm Torturing Fun welcome for . . . Sasuke Uchiha!" The crowd boos. The spotlight shines on Sasuke in the chair which is in a cage wrapped in chakra seals."ITACHI! I WILL KILL YOU!' Sasuke screams, foaming at the mouth.

"Yea right, foolish little brother you cannot kill me until you have more hatred, live in a unsightly manner, etc. So for now lets get to the torture shall we." Itachi said."Tsukiyomi."

"For 72 hours you shall be tortured by your greatest fear."

Sasuke is tied to the cross. He looks down and sees he is naked. "Oh Sasuke-kun." A cold shiver runs down his spine. He looks to see Sakura there wearing nothing but some very sexy lingerie and a whip."I finally have you all to myself Sasuke-kun." She purred. She then starts to take off her bra and- A Censor Screen appears.

"Gotta keep this clean for the sake of the T rating. Let's check back in with Sasuke a little later but for now, how about we bring out another contestant." Itachi said with a cheesy grin."Uh boss, we don't have any other contestants."Ryu said nervously."It took us all morning to catch Sasuke.""Well do something, juggle or something. " I can't juggle." Ryu is pushed out onto the stage. He laughs nervously."How many Toads does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One to screw it in and four to hop around doing nothing." Crickets chirp.

"Stand up comedy that's the best you can do." Itachi hissed. "Tsukiyomi! For 72 hours you shall be tortured by being forced to watch Dragon Ball Z." Noooooooooooooo!"

"Well let's check back in with Sasuke shall we?"Sasuke is crying and in pain."Wow foolish little brother, and that was just one fangirl. How will you handle the rest?""The rest?" He looks up and sees every other fangirl there."Oh no!" he screams.

Afterwards . . .

Sasuke is broken and openly weeping. " I will kill you Itachi." He pants." I don't think so, foolish little brother, vengeance is for kids. 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go."Sakura appears again."No.No.Noooooooooooooooooooo!"

71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later . . .

Sasuke is on the floor of the cage in the fetal position, sucking his thumb."Wow, I guess my foolish little brother really is gay, after all." Itachi said with a sweatdrop.He hears the chirping of a thousand birds. He looks behind him and sees Sasuke in his curse seal level 2 form with his black chidori."Oh Sasuke-kun." He turns to see all of his fangirls there with hearts in their eyes."WE LOVE YOU SASUKE-KUN!""Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he runs out screaming."SASUKE-KUN WAIT, WE LOVE YOU!" His fangirls follow with Ino and Sakura in the lead.

"well that was another lucky break.""Not exactly boss, we told them Sasuke would be here and they all bought VIP tickets." "But we don't have VIP tickets." I know we just sold them regular tickets at twice the price."

"Genius." Itachi exclaimed." Now where is the extra cash?"

"Uhhhhh, WM and I kinda spent it all on video games."Ryu said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Ryu,WM?" "Yea boss." "TSUKIYOMI!"

Well That's the end of another episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi tune in next time, and remember read and review.


	3. Jiraiya

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto . . . yet Mwahahahahaha!

Today's idea for torture comes from windmaster324.

"Welcome back to Torturing Fun with Itachi. I'm your host Itachi." The spotlight shines on Itachi."And today we have a special guest torturer, give a warm round of applause for the prankster king of Konoha, Naruto Uzumaki!" The crowd cheers as Naruto walks on the stage wearing an orange tux."Thank you Itachi. It is a pleasure to be here today."He says with his fox grin.

"Now today's contestant is Naruto's very own teacher, The Toad Sannin himself, or as Naruto-kun calls him Ero-sannin, give a warm torturing welcome for Jiraiya!" The female portion of the audience cheers as the spotlight shines on Jiraiya in a straitjacket tied to the Torture ChairTM. "Grrrrrrrr, NARUTO! Get me out of here right now."

"I don't think so Ero-Sannin. This is revenge for not training me and being a super pervert." Naruto said grinning triumphantly."Just goes to show you folks."Itachi said." Always train your students and don't sneak away to peep on women at the hot springs.""Now shall we get started then Naruto-kun?""Of course Itachi-san."

"Any ideas?" "Yea how about this." He then whispers something in Itachi's ear."Good idea Naruto-kun. Now let's get started then, shall we?" "Tsukiyomi."

"For 72 hours you shall live your worst nightmare." Itachi said.

Jiraiya is tied to the cross and sees himself in a tux at the altar next to a person in a wedding dress, but he can't see who the person because their wearing a veil over their face. He looks around and sees all his friends there as well as the Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze and His wife Uzumaki Kushina."Dearly beloved we are gathered here to see the union of these two souls in glorious matrimony." He looks ahead and sees the Sandaime standing their behind the altar as the preacher." Are their any who object to this union? speak now or forever hold your peace.""No. Very Well. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." He looks at his bride and lifts the veil to reveal . . . OROCHIMARU!" Oh Jiraiya-kun, aren't you going to kiss me?"Orochimaru said, fluttering his eyelashes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jiraiya screams. 'no this can't be real' His thoughts race as he tries to think why this is happening." Come on you big manly toad you. I want to get on to our honeymoon, and of course the honeymoon night." Orochimaru giggles. He then leans in to kiss Jiraiya who is frozen in terror, when it all fades and Jiraiya is back tied to the 

Tsukiyomi cross. Jiraiya breathes a sigh of relief until he hears"71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go.

Then he is back at the altar'Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'

71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later

Jiraiya starts to stir thinking 'what a horrible dream' then he feels a sharp pain in his butt."NOOOOOOO! OROCHIMARU THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!" He screams in pure terror. He then gets up and miraculously breaks free of his straitjacket and runs out the door."Hehehe. Good one Naruto-kun. Has anyone told you may have a bright future in torture?" Itachi asks chuckling."No Itachi-san but I will give that some serious consideration." "Brilliant idea with the stick Naruto-kun." "Thanks for having me today. I will now take my leave." Come back anytime Naruto-kun." And Naruto leaves holding the stick he put up Jiraiya's butt.

"Hey boss?" Ryu asked."Yes?""You know what we need to make this show better? A theme song." There is a silence. "Ryu?""Yea boss?" "Tsukiyomi.""You will now have to listen to polka for 72 hours." Ryu is now in a fetal position on the floor.

"Well WM, do you think we need a theme song as well?" Itachi asked his cameraman threateningly. "No boss I think a theme song is a stupid idea."Good. Well that's all for today check back next time for more Torturing fun with Itachi."The curtain closes on the quiet cries of Ryu."No more polka, no more polka."

Well that's the third chapter in two days. Thank you for reading and please review. Need suggestions please. This is Ryu signing out.


	4. Kisame

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

AN: Sorry about the wait. I just couldn't work up the energy to write. But now I Present the one and only . . .

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"Itachi Uchiha!" Itachi walks onto the stage to the sounds of applause cheers. "Hello and Welcome to another exciting episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi. On this week's show, we have a very special guest, but first I would like to introduce two special guest torturers. First welcome back Uzumaki Naruto, and second a very experienced man in this line of work Ibiki Morino." Naruto walks out still wearing his orange tuxedo, while Ibiki walks out in his usual trenchcoat outfit.

"Welcome to the show guys. Naruto it's good to have you back and Ibiki it is an honor to have you here."Itachi says with the usual cheesy game show host grin. "It's good to be back Itachi-kun.""It is a pleasure to be here Itachi-san. So who are we torturing today?"

"Well I'm glad you asked that. Today our guest is someone I have worked closely with the past few years, my Akatsuki partner Kisame Hoshigake. "The audience boos as Kisame is wheeled out and dumped in the Torture ChairTM. He is unconscious and drooling." Uh isn't he supposed to be awake when we torture him?" Naruto asked. Itachi then sighs and screams,"RYUUUUUUUUU!" "Uh boss, Ryu's still in the mental hospital from when you used Tsukiyomi on him last week." WM the cameraman said nervously. "Well then who caught Kisame then?" "I did sir. I used a tranquilizer gun to catch him." Itachi just sighed and walked up to Kisame's ear and whispered." Kisame. WAKE UP!" Kisame jumps with a jolt. "Itachi what's going on? Where am I? And why is the Kyuubi Brat with you?" He asked.

"Well Kisame it's really quite simple. You are the next contestant on my show." Itachi said with a grin." Now before we use Tsukiyomi let's let our guest torturers show their stuff. "Naruto you can go first." Ibiki said. "Thank you Ibiki. Now let's see. how shall I begin. Oh, I know." He then pulls out a stereo and sets it on the ground." Oh and you guys and the audience might want to put these on." He pulls out a set of earplugs and puts them in his ears. Itachi, Ibiki and the audience all do the same. Naruto then presses play on the stereo and suddenly Britney Spears' song Hit me Baby one more time blasts out of the radio. Now to keep the T rating I cannot put down the lyrics to this song.

Afterwards

Kisame's ears are bleeding and he is crying. "Well I'm impressed Naruto-kun." Itachi and Ibiki were both sweatdropping at the sight. "Well Ibiki think you can top that?" "I can sure try." Ibiki said and disappeared. Kisame is then hoisted upside down into the air. "Hoshigake Kisame. Did you know that when flesh is being burnt that the first thing you will feel is cold and smell burning meat. In your case I guess that's fish. Well let's begin shall we." Ibiki then lights a blowtorch and walks behind Kisame. Kisame then feels something cold on his back and smells grilled salmon. He screams and feels another spot begin to feel cold. He yells, "Stop please stop."He is then let down from the air and put back down 

in the Torture ChairTM. He looks and sees Ibiki With a popsicle and a salmon on a table. "You are not a nice person." Kisame says (AN: I don't own that brilliant piece of torture. That belongs to the creator of the Punisher movie.) Kisame then relaxes thinking it's over.

"Not so fast Kisame. We still have my torture do we not." Itachi says." I have one word for you. Tsukiyomi."

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"For the next 72 hours you shall be tortured with your worst fear."

Kisame is then swimming in the ocean peacefully. He thinks' Itachi thinks this is my worst fear ha.' He then looks and sees a juicy steak and swims toward it and bites it. He then realizes there's a hook in the steak and feels a sharp tug. He lands on a fishing boat and is then sent to a place he doesn't recognize called Red Lobster. Next thing he is being wheeled out on a silver platter towards a big table with the Akatsuki all sitting around it. They are all holding knives and forks and tartar sauce is all around the table. He is set on the table and calls out to the leader Pein." Leader-sama you have to get me out of here. They think I'm on the menu." "Oh Kisame. You're not on the menu. We ordered you especially as the main course." Pein says and they all cackle evilly. Kisame screams as their knives and forks descend when he is suddenly back in the Tsukiyomi realm. He breathes a sigh of relief until he hears," 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go."

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71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later

Kisame is being wheeled out in a straitjacket screaming," No not the tartar sauce! Anything but tartar sauce!" Itachi sweatdrops and says, "Well that was interesting. But alas that was the end of today's episode but fear not we shall return next week with another special guest. So stay tuned."The curtain closes on the set."

Afterwards . . .

Itachi, Naruto, and Ibiki are all sitting backstage talking. "Hey Itachi there's something that's been bothering me?" "Yes Ibiki-san?" "How come you haven't been arrested by anbu? I mean you're having this show in the middle of Konoha." Ibiki asks. "Well that's quite simple. The Hokage herself sanctioned this show. Why do you think our first three victims were Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Sasuke?" "Okay, Kakashi and Jiraiya I can understand, but why Sasuke?" Naruto asks with a clueless expression on his face. "It's simple. His attitude annoyed her and she thought he needed to be taken down a peg." "Oh, okay."

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Well that's the end of chapter four. Read and review.


	5. Team Ten Special Part 1: Chouji

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

AN: Sorry about the long wait on the update. I just haven't been able to focus on writing with a lot of stuff going on in my life. So to make up for that I now present you with a special TFI.

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The spotlight shines down on Itachi as he walks out onto the stage to the thunderous applause. "Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi. First I would like to welcome back my assistant Ryu from his stay at a mental institution." Ryu waves from the off stage area where he's standing next to three large cloth-covered objects.

" Now to make up for the long wait for this episode we are doing something a little different tonight. Tonight we are having not one, not two, but three contestants tonight." Itachi announces." Our first contestant is a genin from the leaf village. He is a master of the Chou Baika no jutsu, a member of team ten, and the heir to a large chain of restaurants. Give a big round of applause for . . . Akimichi Chouji!"

Ryu wheels out one of the cloth-covered objects and rips the cover revealing Chouji in a cage tied to the Torture Chair tm. He looks around and sees Itachi and asks," Where am I?" "Well my big-boned friend, you are the next contestant on Torturing Fun with Itachi!" Itachi says with the cheesiest game show host grin ever. "Why did you pick me?" "That would be telling. You will find out later. But now on to the torture. Our first guest torturer is . . . Ayame Ichiraku?!! Ryu are you serious?" He growls. "Completely Boss. She's the best candidate for the job." "And she was willing to work for free, wasn't she?" "Well not exactly free . . . I sorta promised an autographed Akatsuki cloak from you." Ryu replied nervously. "Ryu . . . Tsukiyomi!" "For 72 hours you shall be forced to watch An Inconvenient truth." (1) "Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"

While all this is happening Ayame is standing on the other side of the stage sweat dropping. Itachi turns and looks at her and sighs, "Alright let's go ahead and get on with Chouji's torture, shall we Ayame?" "Of course. Now Chouji you will be force-fed this ramen." Chouji breathes a sigh of relief." It was made by my aunt Akane. "(2)

Five minutes later.

Chouji is lying on the floor holding his stomach moaning. "I forgot to mention that my aunt is a notoriously bad cook and can burn water." Ayame smirks evilly. "That was . . . beautiful torture." Itachi says, wiping a tear from his eye. "Now it's my turn. Tsukiyomi!"

Chouji appears in Tsukiyomi world tied to the cross. He sees an enormous pile of potato chip bags lying on a table. He starts struggling to break out of his bonds and grab the chips when he sees his friends and teammates come and start eating the chips. "Mmmm. These are really good Chouji why don't you come over and have some?" Ino asks. He starts crying and by the time the last chip is gone he is sobbing. Finally the illusion fades and he is back in the Tsukiyomi world. He breathes a sigh of relief until he hears," 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go."

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71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later.

Chouji is lying on the floor catatonic." Well that was certainly a weird fear." Itachi says. "Yea it was boss." Itachi jumps and turns to see Ryu standing behind him. "You recovered quickly. I'll have to think of a worse punishment for next time. Now take Chouji back to his house." "Sure thing, boss." Ryu sighs. He starts to lift Chouji when he hears an audible crunch. He turns and sees windmaster the cameraman eating a bag of barbecue chips. He turns back in time to see Chouji's eyes snap open."Waaah!"He jumps back. Chouji turns his head and looks at WM with a frenzied look in his eyes. He lets out a fearsome roar and charges WM screaming," GIMME THOSE CHIPS!!" WM runs away being chased by a mad Chouji.

Itachi, Ayame, and Ryu were standing there sweat dropping. "Well that was different. I guess this is the end of our show for today. Join us next time for part two of our three part team ten special!" The curtain closes to wild applause.

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After the show

Itachi, Ayame, and Ryu are sitting backstage drinking coffee. Ayame turns to Ryu and says," I want my payment now!" Itachi sighs and hands her an autographed cloak. She grabs it and squeals. Suddenly they see WM running by still being chased by Chouji. "Are you guys going to help him?" Ayame asks." No he didn't help me when I was being tortured. Besides, exercise is good for you right?" Ryu grins cheekily.

The End

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AN: well there's part 1 of my team 10 special. Read and Review. I could use ideas on Ino's and Shikamaru's tortures. Just remember there are one physical and one Tsukiyomi.

(1): yes this is the documentary made by ale gore. And yes I am openly mocking it.

(2): I have decided that in this universe Kasumi is Ayame's mother.

Next time: Ino!


	6. Team Ten Special Part 2: Ino

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Full Metal Ninja

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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The audience applauds as Itachi walks down the stairs on to the stage. "Hello and welcome to another thrilling episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi! Now last time on TFI we had the big-boned tank of Team 10: Akimichi Chouji! This week we have the banshee. Give a warm round of app-"A large crash and sounds of a fight come from backstage. "She's loose!" "Grab Her!" "Why aren't you helping me WM?" Itachi sweatdrops and says," Excuse me one moment."

Itachi then walks backstage to see that Ino is mauling Ryu while WM and Chouji were sitting and eating chips while watching. WM looks at Itachi and says "Yo boss." "WM, what is going on?" "Well it's like this; Ryu was getting ready to move Ino out onto the stage when he saw she wasn't breathing. Ryu panicked and opened the door to check her pulse when suddenly she jumped up and started attacking him." WM said with a smirk. "Why aren't you helping him? And why is Chouji back?" "I am not helping him because he didn't help me last week when Chouji was chasing me, so I am not going to help him in his current dilemma. As for why Chouji is here, I was thinking we could use a security guard." Itachi thinks about it and says," Good idea! I'm glad I thought of it. Chouji your hired." "But boss It was my-" "What was that WM?" Itachi growled as his Mangkyou Sharingan started spinning. "Nothing sir." WM squeaked.

"It was a great idea boss. Now that we have a security guard maybe he can, I dunno, SAVE ME FROM GETTING KILLED?!" Ryu screamed. Chouji sighed and got up and said to Ino," Look it is Sasuke's older brother." Ino blinked, then jumped up (stepping on Ryu's private area) and ran and glomped on to Itachi. Itachi then knocked her out by hitting her in the back of the neck." Ryu get up and take her onto the stage, NOW!" Ryu gets up (albeit painfully) and sets Ino in the Torture Chairtm and wheels her out on to the stage.

"Sorry about the wait we had some technical difficulties. Now back to the show. I give you our next vic- I mean contestant. She's the kunoichi of team 10, as deadly with a rose as she is with a kunai: Ino Yamanaka!" Ryu wheels out Ino and then goes to get an ice pack when Itachi says in a honeyed tone," Where do you think you're going Ryu? Get the equipment and get Miss Yamanaka's torture set before she wakes up." "Ok boss." "Now folks we did some digging and discovered that Miss Yamanaka here has a tiny fear of bugs so we thought we'd help her get over her fear."

Ryu wheels out a table with a glass case with air holes in it and a few buckets on it. He then takes the case and opens it sideways and places it over Ino's head and closes it. He then opens it vertically and grabs one of the buckets and starts to pour the contents inside the case. "Each of these buckets is filled with a different kind of bug. The first one is everybody's favorite household pest: cockroaches. Next we have some beetles, some worms, and some spiders. And yes I know spiders are arachnids. Well it looks like Ryu has finished pouring the bugs in. Now we just wait-Oh it looks like Ino is waking up. Audience you may want to put on the protective earmuffs under your seat."

Ino stirs feeling something wet on her cheek she moans, "Oh Sasuke-kun." She opens her eyes and looks around terrified. Instead of Sasuke there was BUGS! Tons of them and they were all over her. A cockroach fell of her head and looked at her and blinked. She then screamed as loud as she could and started thrashing around in the Chair. Itachi looks at his watch and says, "Ok leave her in there for about ten minutes."

10 minutes later

Ryu removes the case as had stopped screaming and passed out a minute ago."Well hopefully that helped Miss Yamanaka get over her fear of bugs, or scar her for life. Either's fine with me. Now once she wakes up we get on to the next part of the torture. But for now here's a word from our sponsors." Itachi then walks backstage and takes a sip of a glass of water. Ryu walks up to him and asks, "Hey boss, don't you think we are going too hard on her? I mean what did she do to the Hokage?" "Well it is quite simple she keeps whining about Sasuke whenever her team goes into the Hokage's office to pick up a mission." "Ahh."

"Welcome back to TFI. Ino has regained consciousness and is ready for the final part of her torture: The Tsukiyomi." Ino is sitting in the Chair sucking her thumb. "Tsukiyomi. For the next 72 hours you shall be tortured by your worst nightmare." Ino is suddenly in a nice big house. She looks down and sees she is older and looks at her hand to see a ring on her finger. She squeals and thinks,' I am married to Sasuke-kun! Itachi must have felt bad about the bugs and decided to make me live my best fantasy instead of my worst nightmare.'(Yea Right) She hears the door open and a deep voice call out, "Honey I'm home!" she rushes to greet her husband Sasuke only to see an older Chouji standing there grinning. He hugs her and kisses her on the cheek and says,"How was your day? Did you and Chouma have fun today?" "Chouma?" "Yes our son Chouma. Ah here he comes now." "Mommy!" A little red-headed big-boned boy ran down the stairs and gave her a hug. Then there's a knock on the door and Chouji says, "Come in Shikamaru. Oh, I forgot tell you Shikamaru needs to crash here for a few days." "Temari was being troublesome again. Wanting to have kids, go on dates, and other troublesome stuff." Ino screams," NOOOOOOO!" Then everything fades to the Tsukiyomi world. She relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief until she hears, "71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go." Then she's back in the house and she starts crying.

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71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later

Ino is collapsed in the chair sobbing. "Well that was interesting. I'm afraid that was the end of today's episode. See you next week for the final part of the team 10 special: Shikamaru! Ja ne." As the curtain closes Itachi says," Chouji get her out of here." "Yes sir." Chouji salutes and goes to untie Ino and take her home. As he is picking her up her eyes open and she starts strangling him screaming, "I will never marry you!" As this is happening Ryu and WM are sitting and eating popcorn while watching Ino kill Chouji. Itachi looks at this and asks, "Why aren't you two helping him?" "Payback for chasing me last week." "Better him than me." They look at each other and Ryu says, "Friends again?" "Friends."

AN: Wow this is my longest chapter yet. Now I know I say this every chapter but please review! If you have any ideas for next chapters victim, any character you want to see torture, or if you just have comments or suggestions just leave a review. Next chapters' victim is Shikamaru. Ja ne!


	7. Team Ten Special Part 3: Shikamaru

Torturing Fun with Itachi

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja

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"Welcome to another fun-filled episode of Torturing Fun with Itachi." Itachi says as he walks onto the stage to thunderous applause and screams of fangirls." I'm your host Itachi Uchiha and today on TFI we have a special victim today. In the final episode of the Team Ten Torture special we have the smartest member. but first some highlights of the last two episodes." A scene of Chouji throwing up after Ayame's aunt Akane's ramen is shown, as well as a scene of Ino screaming covered in bugs. "Ryu wheel out the next contestant!" Itachi said with a grin. "He's the brains of Team Ten. He's got an IQ of 200, and he's a lazy bum. Give it up for Nara Shikamaru!" Crickets chirp as nothing happens. Itachi twitches and walks backstage after saying," Excuse me folks. It seems we are having some technical difficulties… again."

The sight that greets him when he walks back is very disturbing. Ryu is lying on the ground twitching while Chouji is eating chips and occasionally kicking him. "Ok, what happened this time?" He asked with dread seeing that Shikamaru is nowhere to be found. Chouji finishes his bag of chips and says," Shikamaru used Kagemane no jutsu and made Ryu knock himself out. Then he said he was going to look at some clouds." Itachi sighs and kicks Ryu saying," Get up you incompetent moron!" Ryu jumps up and says," Boss I can explain." "Explain what? Explain how every single time I tell you to capture someone they either A. kick the crap out of you before you manage to subdue them- usually with WM's help- or B. they manage to escape like now. Luckily, this time I had a contingency plan." That's when Ino and Temari show up holding Shikamaru. "Good job ladies." Itachi says." Maybe I should hire you instead of the incompetent over there." He said glaring at Ryu. Ryu looks down in shame and tries to explain," But boss, I don't have any ninja training and you're asking me to capture trained ninjas." "Enough, so you are saying you aren't qualified to do this job. Very well, Ryu your fired. Come back if you ever grow up and get some training." With that, Itachi turns and walks back on stage followed by Ino and Temari carrying Shikamaru leaving a saddened and angry Ryu on the floor backstage. Sad because he was fired and angry because he knew Itachi was right

"Sorry about the delay folks but everything is taken care of so on with the show." Shikamaru is carried out and placed in the Torture Chair and tied up. "Now for part one of Shikamaru's torture, He shall be placed in this soundproof box and have a machine attached to him that will shock him if he starts to fall asleep." Ino and Temari carry the chair into the room and hook Shikamaru into the machine. Afterwards they wake him up. "Now Shikamaru the first part of the torture involves these lovely young ladies having a nice conversation and all you have to do is watch." Itachi says with a sly smile. He then closes the door and Ino and Temari start gossiping and talking about boys and occasionally squealing. Every time Shikamaru starts to fall asleep he is shocked awake by the machine so he is forced to sit and listen to every word of this girl talk.

After thirty minutes of this torture Itachi unlocks the door and opens it. Shikamaru is shivering and twitching while muttering, "Troublesome," over and over again. "Well that was a nice change of pace from the usual torture, ne?" Itachi says with a maniacal grin on his face. "Now for the fun part of the torture and my personal favorite: The Tsukiyomi!" the audience cheers wildly as Shikamaru is dragged in front of Itachi. Itachi closes his eyes and reopens revealing them in Mangkyou mode. "Tsukiyomi." Shikamaru is then dragged into the nightmare realm. "For the next seventy-two hours you shall live your worst nightmares. Now…SHOW ME THE FEARS!"

Shikamaru looks up and sees he is on his favorite hill for watching clouds. He then looks around and sees nothing and starts to relax when he hears a voice moan," Shikamaru," He looks up and sees Ino there but she has this creepy grin on her face and is standing like a robot. Temari and his mother show up as well with identical grins on their faces. They all say in unison, "Join us Shikamaru. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated into the Troublesome Force." As more of them start to show up. Soon, the entire hill is filled with (as Shikamaru dubbed them) Troublesome Women. They are all chanting the same thing" join us. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." Shikamaru then looks down in horror seeing that he now has breasts and is wearing Ino's clothes. He also has blond hair and can feel a grin creeping up on his face. He then screams as he is assimilated. He is suddenly back in the Tsukiyomi realm and starts to relax when he hears," 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go." Then he starts to weep as he's back on the hill.

71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later

Shikamaru is weeping in the fetal position muttering, "The horror! The sheer indescribable horror!" Itachi looks at this and sweatdrops. "I've seen some disturbing fears but that was one of the most disturbing I've seen on this show." Temari and Ino come out and start to carry Shikamaru backstage when he freaks out, running out of the building and screaming, " I WILL NOT BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE TROUBLESOME FORCE! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Itachi, Temari, Ino, and everybody just sweatdrop. "Well that's the end of the show. Goodnight folks and see you next time on Torturing Fun with Itachi!"

After the show

WM walks up to Itachi and says," Hey boss great show tonight! Though I am curious as to why Ryu wasn't helping with the victim?" "The answer is quite simple WM. I fired Ryu for being an untrained, incompetent imbecile." WM was shocked that his friend was fired but didn't say anything for fear of being Tsukiyomi'd. He went to his locker backstage and opened to find a note from Ryu. It read," WM, by now you probably know that I was fired. Well, you should now that I am not giving up. I will get my job back but first I'm going to get some training. See you around Konoha, your friend Ryu." WM puts the note in his pocket and walks away thinking, "Get stronger Ryu and come claim your job back."

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An: Well there's another chapter and the end of the Team 10 special, and is that a trace of a plot I detect? Tell me what you think or if you have any suggestions or characters you would like to see tortured leave a Review. Also at the end of every chapter I shall now have a little short examining Ryu and some of his training. Trust me, I think you'll be surprised by some of the sensei's I pick for him. Anyways, without further ado I present the first chapter of:

**The Misadventures of Ryu (and eventually WM)**

**Chapter One**

Ryu was determined to get the necessary training to get his job back no matter the cost. Even if it meant going to THEM for training. He shuddered at the thought of what he might have to do to get this training then walked onto the training ground. There was a brown haired girl throwing weapons at a very uptight looking boy who would then spin and create a blue energy dome to deflect them. Then there were the guys he was looking for, a horrible creature wearing the most awful clothing he had ever seen with two THINGS on his face above his eyes, and a clone of this terrifying creature. The creature spoke," YOSH, WHO IS THIS YOUTHFUL BOY WHO IS STANDING BEFORE US?" "My name is Ryu sir. I was fired from my job for lacking the proper training to do it and I was hoping you could give me some basic taijutsu training to help me get my job back." The creature got this horrible smile on his face. "YOSH I SHALL HELP YOU KINDLE YOUR YOUTHFUL FLAMES OR I, MAITO GAI, SHALL RUN 500 LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON MY HANDS!" Maito Gai, for that indeed was the name of this hideous creature, said. A chill ran down my spine as Gai gave the infamous Nice Guy look.

To Be Continued.


	8. Neji

TFI Chapter

By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja and Parts contributed by windmaster324

*Itachi's Office*

Itachi is sitting in his office at Karasu no Konoha Studios when one of his recent hires walks in. His assistant Director, Hyuga Hinata, is PISSED. Now you may be wondering how shy, meek little Hinata became the assistant director of a show about torturing and humiliating people. Well, that is an interesting story. One day, as she was doing her favorite pastime (stalking Naruto) she overheard him laughing and telling anyone who would listen about how he pranked the hell out of Jiraiya on television, and was going to look into getting Itachi to let him do some more work there. In a flash of stalkerish inspiration, she decided to get a job at the studio to be close to him, and eventually confess her feelings, and then he would carry her off into the sunset, and marry her and they would live happily ever after in a big castle (Yea, this girls got issues). Now, the question you are probably wondering why Itachi would hire someone like this as his A.D. As it turns out, Hinata can be bloody brilliant when it comes to inventing tortures and picking targets for optimum ratings.

Anyways, the reason Hinata is pissed is because her cousin Neji snuck into her room and read her secret orange diary. This little book contains her deepest, darkest, stalkerest secrets. She walks into Itachi's office and slaps a folder with Neji's name on it and says, "This is your season premier. I want him humiliated!" Itachi glances through the folder and looks at her and says, "Very well. I'll send WM and Chouji to capture him immediately." He presses a button on his phone and waits for it to dial.

*Break Room*

WM has changed a lot since Ryu's departure. He's started acting more serious and training a lot. He's even developed his own style of fighting and has become quite adapt at capturing targets through sneak attacks and ambushes. He is relaxing with Chouji when his phone rings. He answers it and listens to the person on the other end before saying, "No problem boss. We'll get right on it." He hangs up and looks at Chouji. "We got a mark. Hyuga Neji has angered his cousin and she wants him as the next victim." "Sweet, let's go."

*Team Gai's Training Ground*

WM and Chouji finally got a clue to Neji's location from his teammate Lee after a few hours of searching. They arrived ready to try and sneak up and capture him. Now, since that obviously wouldn't work against a Hyuuga's Peeping Eye (I'm sorry, I mean Byakugan), they went to their backup plan of Full-Out Attack. They in turn were soundly defeated by Neji. WM's wind attacks weren't fast enough to catch him, and Chouji couldn't flatten him with his Nikudan Sensha. WM was lying and the ground glaring at Neji after taking a few Jyuuken hits. Chouji was unconscious after hitting a tree. Neji was frantic and looking around wildly.

"Dang, nice work there." Neji spins around and launches a kunai at the voice, then relaxes when he sees who it is. "Oh it's you. I thought you left town?" "I came back a couple days ago. No handshake for your ex-teammate?" Neji reaches out and grabs his hand for a firm shake, then convulses for a second and drops to the floor. "Heh, that was easy. Now to get him to the Boss." He picks up Neji and is about to leave when he hears WM say, "You? You're back?" "Yea. I'll meet you at the studio." "Heh. Welcome home." WM gets up and starts to wake up Chouji.

*Karasu no Konoha Studio*

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" Hinata screamed. "It's 30 minutes to Showtime and they still haven't caught him." Itachi sighed and was about to reply when the studio doors slammed open with a loud bang. They looked at the person walking in. He is wearing a pair of black baggy BDU's with a yellow stripe running up each leg along with a pair of combat boots. He also is wearing a pure white long-sleeved style shirt without the mask. His shirt has two lightning bolts crossing each other over the space where the breast pocket would be. On the back is a full back image of a black storm cloud with a single thick lightning bolt shooting out of it. He is wearing a pair of leather gauntlets that have streams of metal inlaid into them in order to conduct electricity. He has shoulder length black hair with blond tips. He is also carrying Neji.

"Ryu?!" "Yo. Long time no see boss! I even brought you a present." He tosses Neji at Itachi's feet. "You caught Neji?" Itachi asks in disbelief. "I took your advice and found some people to teach me to be a better fighter. Now I'm back and better than ever." Ryu holds up a hand sparking with electricity. Itachi stares for a second before sighing and saying, "We'll talk about this after the show. Go sit in the audience." Ryu smirks. "Good to see you too boss. See you later." He walks out of the room to get his seat.

Itachi turns to Hinata and says, "Call Naruto and get started on the prep work for the show." Hinata stands there for a minute before grabbing Neji and dragging him backstage with an evil grin on her face. Now, Naruto did eventually get a job at the studio as their seal master/ torturing advisor. He is very happy and has finally managed to realize the feelings of a certain stalkerette. They have been happily dating for 2 months now.

*Show stage*

"Welcome to the season premiere of Torturing Fun with Itachi, the show where some of the most annoying, irritating, and downright angsty members of Konoha get their Just Desserts! And here's your host, Uchihaaaa Ittttachi!"

Itachi walks onto the stage, in his usual black suit with a raven on the breast, to the sound of thunderous applause. "Hello, I hope you're ready for what promises to be our greatest torture yet. Let me first introduce my assistant Hyuga Hinata." Hinata walks out wearing a midnight blue dress and waves to the audience. "She will be helping me with our guest for tonight. Let me introduce The Hyuga Prodigy, The Prince of Fate, Proof that the Caged Bird Broods, Hyuga Neji!" The technical director, Aburame Shino, wheels Neji out in the traditional Torture ChairTM , but the audience notice something is amiss. Neji is not restrained at all!

"Now you are probably wondering why he is not restrained? Well that will become clear in a few minutes. But first, Hinata if you will." Hinata pulls out a megaphone and places it next to Neji's ear. "WAKE UP!" Neji jumped up with a start and looks around wildly. He starts sweating after realizing where he was and who was in front of him. "Now Neji, everybody is pretty sick of your constant ranting about of fate and general broodiness. I figured you could use some cheering up, so I arranged for you to come on this show and be on TV. Now prepare to be happy!" She makes the handsign to activate the Caged Bird Seal.

Neji starts to scream before realizing, He's not feeling any pain! Quite the opposite, He feels really good. His eyes start to widen and he gets this huge grin on his face. "Hinata!" He runs to his cousin and gives her a big bear hug. "It's great to see you! I'm sorry read your diary, could you ever forgive me?" Hinata giggles and says," Sure thing Neji. Now is there anything else you want to tell me?" Neji just keeps grinning and says, "Nope! I have to go find Tenten! I have something I really need to tell her something!" He looks into the audience and grins, "Tenten!" He runs to her in the audience, hugs her, and proceeds to give her the biggest kiss he could! After several minutes of making out, he pulls away and says, "I've always been extremely attracted to you!" He turns to Lee in the next seat and says, "Lee, I've felt intimidated of your speed and strength and jealous of how much attention Gai-sensei gives you! That's why I've treated you like dirt. I am very sorry. Please forgive me!" He then turns to Gai and says," Thank you for all the training you have given me Gai-sensei! You're like a father to me!" He then gives Gai a big hug.

Gai and Lee are looking at him with tears in their eyes while Tenten is unconscious with a blissful smile on her face. Finally, Neji turns to Tsunade who wasn't too far from them. "I've always respected you as a leader!" Then he suddenly reaches out and grabs Tsunade's breasts and squeezes them. "Wow! Those are really soft!" Silence. You could hear a pin drop. Everybody turns and looks to see Tsunade's face steadily get redder and steam start to come out of her ears. As she pulls her fist back to pummel Neji, he drops into a vortex that opens up under him and deposits him back on the stage. "I'm sorry Tsunade-sama, but we need him alive for the rest of the show. Hinata, deactivate the seal now." "Yes Itachi-san."

Neji starts to come out of his drugged state and realizes what he did. He pales and starts to sweat. Itachi grins and says, "Well, now that we've cheered up our guest, it's time for the main event. Tsukiyomi!"

*Tsukiyomi*

"For 72 hours you shall face a special scenario Hinata cooked up for you." Was all Neji heard before waking up at his team's training ground. He looks around and doesn't see anybody around, so he decides to head back to the Hyuga Manor. He starts walking toward town when he sees the first sign something is wrong. All the store front's are selling things such as "youthful" fruits and vegetables or "flaming" clothing. Then he starts to see people walking around with bowlcuts, fuzzy brows, and green spandex! Neji walks towards his house in a daze until he hears someone say, "How is your youthful day going Neji?" He turns to look in horror at his cousin Hinata and her boyfriend Naruto wearing … bowlcuts and spandex! He looks around and sees Anko eating dango while wearing a altered green suit. He saw the Haruno girl and the Yamanaka girl wearing spandex as well. He screamed.

He runs to the one person he knows would be normal in the midst of this green plague, Tenten! He runs into her family's store and asks, "Where's Tenten?" Her father replies from the back, "She's up in her room waiting for you." Neji rushes up there, but misses Tenten's father step out wearing the green plague. Neji knocks on Tenten's door and opens it when she answers. He walks in to find the lights are off. He jumps when the door closes behind him and he is suddenly grabbed and stuffed into a chair and tied up.

The lights come on to reveal Tenten standing there with Gai and Lee. Neji looks half in horror and half in arousal at the sight of Tenten in very revealing green spandex and her hair somehow in both her buns and a half-bowlcut. "Neji, it is time for you to finally revel in your youth. Even if we have to force you too." "NO! I won't! You can't make me!" Don't worry Neji, it will only hurt at first, then you will feel very Youthful!" They descend on him with green spandex and scissors. He screams as the world fades back to the Tsukiyomi world. He starts to relax and calm down when he hears, "71 hours, 71 minutes, and 59 seconds to go." He screams again as the training ground reappears.

*Back at the Stage*

Neji's screams finally subside as the audience stares at the screen in shock before looking at the creator of that nightmare, Hinata, in fear. Hinata just smile sweetly from where she is finishing a little surprise for Neji. Itachi regains his composure and says, "This is why you don't piss off Hinata. She is diabolical. I am so proud!" Itachi sheds a little tear of joy.

Neji wakes up thinking, "_thank Kami that wasn't real."_ He gets up and opens his eyes to hear snickering coming from the audience. He looks to his left to find a mirror that reveals the source of the jubilant audience. He is wearing a green youth suit, has two fake eyebrows glued to his real ones, and worst of all, his beautiful hair has been cut into a bowlcut! "What a youthful outfit Neji-kun!" He snaps and slowly turns his head to look at Gai and Lee in the audience. They start backing out of the room slowly. Neji lets out a roar of rage and leaps at them with the intent of killing them brutally. They run out of the room screaming. The audience hears shouts of "That is not the right youthful energy Neji-kun!" and "I thought I was like a father to you!" and "DIE YOU GREEN DEMONS!" They sweatdrop at that. "Well that's the end of the show folks! Thank you for watching and tune in next time to Torturing Fun with Itachi!"

*Backstage, After the Show*

Itachi, ryu and WM are in the studio break room drinking and relaxing while listening to the screams of "Neji, this is most unyouthful!!" and "no, not there, anywhere but there!!" "how dare you jyuken gai senseis youthful genatalia!!!", that last one getting a shiver out of all three. "soo, boss ...." states Ryu. *sigh* " I guess you did fairly well Ryu, even I have to admit your version of a joy buzzer on neji was funny. however, you are not part of the crew yet." What, why not?!" yells Ryu. "Simple," glares Itachi. "you may have captured neji, however one lucky capture is not enough. I need to see your abilities for myself. You have to prove yourself to me that you are strong enough to be part of Karasu Konoha Studios again." "But sir," states WM, "hasn't ryu proven enough. He helped capture neji and he has remained loyal to you after all this time." "silence WM" says itachi. "What you say is true, however, I am not convinced of Ryu's strength. Therefore he will have one final test from me to see if he is ready." and what might that be? asks Ryu and WM together. "Simple" grins itachi, "you two will fight each other and prove your worth to me." "WHAT!!!!!"

*at a hidden location*

A man was standing at a cave entrance in the middle of the pouring rain. "I trust you were successful?" Another man seemed to rise out of the ground carrying a body on his shoulder. "Yes, though I had to knock him out to get him to stop screaming." The first figure stares at the shivering form of Hoshigake Kisame and thinks, "_You will pay for this Itachi."_

AN: And I have returned! Sorry about the long wait, but I just stalled on this story and needed some time to think. But I now have a plot for this once mindless story, and hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently (though I start college next week, so maybe not). And now for your enjoyment, a short omake. You ever wonder how the crew at Karasu no Konoha Studios make sure their tortures are not lethal. Well here's a little insight into this unfortunate job.

**Omake: Testing Part 1**

"Are you sure this is safe?" WM says as they paint the seal on him. "Of course it is! This Ecstasy Seal should work perfectly. Now, The law requires that I confirm that you read and understood the Liability Clause in your contract." "WHAT? Yes, but why?" "No reason! Now let's begin! Hinata if you would?" Hinata activates the seal. WM braces for the happiness. He then relaxes and gets a strange look in his eyes. He suddenly dashes forward and French kisses Hinata. "Man Your hot! Now to go give the Hot kunoichi a taste of WM!" He then dashes out of the building. Itachi looks at Naruto. "You will get that little glitch fixed before the show, right?" "Yea, I'm not sure what caused the lust, but I should be able to fix in time for the show."

WM stirs and opens his eyes. _ What happened? Last thing I remember is Hinata activating that seal, than everything went Red." _ He looks around, wondering why he isn't in his own room, and why there were various chains and whips hanging on the walls. He freezes as he hears a soft voice moan," Don't leave Papa Snakey. Mama is cold." 2 very strong feminine arms grab him and hold him close to the body of Mitarashi Anko. WM can only think one thing. _ Oh shit._


	9. Wind and Lightning Clash! Ryu vs WM!

**Wind and Lightning Clash! Ryu vs. WM!**

AN: This chapter was written by windmaster324 and edited by me.

The wind whispers softly as it blows across an open field with a few scattered boulders and a forest ringing the whole field. This field happens to be one of the few training grounds not often used in Konohagakure no Sato. It is a perfect ground for any kind of training except for water jutsu as there is no water. However, it is so far out on the village limits that almost no one uses it; making it perfect for the match about to be held on it today.

On one side of the field we find Ryu. He wears a pair of black baggy BDU's with a yellow stripe running up each leg along with a pair of combat boots. He sports a pure white long-sleeve kakashi style shirt without the mask. The shirt has two lightning bolts crossing each other over the space where the breast pocket would be. On the back is a full back image of a black storm cloud with a single thick lightning bolt shooting out of it. He is wearing a pair of leather gauntlets that have streams of metal inlaid into them in order to conduct electricity. He has shoulder length black hair with blonde tips.

On the other side of the field we see his opponent, Windmaster, more commonly known as WM. He sports a pair of faded blue jeans over a pair of brown hiking boots with steel toes. He wears a dark red open flannel shirt and a fishnet shirt on under it. He also sports a pair of leather gauntlets but without the metal in them. He carries a coil of rope, a lasso, on his waist that when chakra is channeled through it, can become a length of chain with a spike on the end. He also sports a small foot long metal carpenter's mallet that when chakra is applied, can grow into a four and a half feet long war hammer. Finally, he has wavy red hair pulled into a short pony tail and blue eyes hidden underneath a leather cowboy hat.

These two are the best of friends. They have been friends since they were kids. It was a year ago when they last saw each other when Ryu lost his job at Karasu no Konoha Studios. Yesterday, he was able to return and save the show for WM. Now, however, Ryu's former boss, Itachi Uchiha, has stated that if Ryu wants his job back, he will have to participate in a full out spar with WM and show Itachi his skills. This brings us to this field.

"I guess it's come to this, huh WM?" stated Ryu.

"Yeah, I guess it has. It'll be fun though. I've waited for you to return so I could see how strong you would become." replied Windmaster.

"That's true; I've wondered how a clash between us would end for a long time now, even before I gained my new skills. Now we'll get to see who truly is the better fighter between us."

"Alright, you two. Enough chatter. Let's get this fight on the road," stated Itachi, "I'll be referee in this match. This is a full out fight between you two to see if Ryu truly has the skill to earn his job back. Fighters ready?"

"As I'll ever be," replied WM.

"Lets do this," said Ryu.

"Alright then. Evaluation match between WM and Ryu..... HAJIME!!" yelled Itachi as he sunshined into a safe area at the edge of the forest.

Both Ryu and WM immediately dropped into their respective taijutsu stances. Ryu's stance was that of a low and wide stance. His legs were spread a little more than shoulder width apart and were bent at the knees. His hands were fisted with the middle knuckle on each middle finger was positioned out in a jab while his arms were crossing each other over the forearm.

WM's stance however, greatly resembled that of a mantis. His legs were slightly bent at the knees and his arms were held loosely in front of him. However, his hands were not fisted like Ryu's, rather the pointer finger on each hand was pointing out and down while the rest of the fingers were coiled together.

"What style is it that you're using Ryu? I can't say I've seen it before." Asked WM.

That would be because it is a style not from this land. It is called, I believe, Hei Hu Quan, or the Black Tiger Kung Fu. It is perfect for my lightning style since it relies on fast, never ending footwork and rapid, multiple punches and kicks for maximum damage. Explained Ryu. "However, I find myself at a loss as to what your style is as well? In all the time we've known each other, I've never seen you use more than basic stances that any taijutsu user needs to know. Questioned Ryu.

That's because I was still learning. I mastered this style about two years ago. However, I have not had need of it until now. I want both of us to give it our all and so I will use my style, the tanglangquan, the praying mantis fist. My style, like yours, utilizes fast footwork to keep my upper body moving. I focus on diverting opponent attacks, followed by rapid circular whip attacks to the core and vital spots. My style is perfect for a wind specialist such as me with its diversion techniques and rapid unstoppable attacks that bend around the opponent; each aspect of the style so representing the very element I love. Informed WM.

Well we shall see how it fares against my Black Tiger style and my lightning abilities. Now LETS GO! Yelled Ryu.

And with that they were both off like a shot. True to their styles, they both utilized speed and footwork, hence why they had closed the 100 meter gap between them in under two seconds. They clashed with an explosion of air. Ryu punched forward with a signature knuckle buster punch while WM utilized his own style's signature move, the praying mantis hook, to deflect the knuckle buster to the left while he followed up with two rapid jabs to the chest. Ryu, seeing this leaped upwards and tried to nail WM with two rapid aerial kicks. However, WM anticipated that, and falling forward into a handstand, did a full 360 whirlwind kick to knock Ryu's kicks to the side. They both righted themselves and turned to the other. They both suddenly grinned at each other and disappeared and clashed again in the middle of the field.

They continued to clash this way for another two or three minutes, each time reappearing when they cancelled each other's moves. For those able to follow the action, only Itachi at present, it was a sight to see. Ryu would constantly back peddle or flip away from attacks while his hands and arms seemed to blur with the speed of his punches. WM, however, would not let up either. His fast footwork allowed him to spin around Ryu's attacks and follow up into the signature whip like attacks of the praying mantis style, utilizing his whole arms and legs sometimes to deflect blows and land devastating damage to the core of Ryu.

Finally, after about three minutes, there was an explosion of dirt as both fighters launched a kick at each other's face and sent them flying to opposite ends of the field, both smacking into a tree and lying stunned for a second. They both then shakily stood up and grinned to one another.

"I must say, your good my friend, very good," praised Windmaster.

"You too buddy. I haven't had to work this hard since I finished my training two months ago." stated Ryu. "Let's say we take it up a notch."

"Yes, lets."

While this was going on, Itachi was hidden in the forest watching the battle and he couldn't help but be impressed. "Well, both Ryu and WM are pretty strong in taijutsu. Even I would have some trouble keeping up with those styles without my sharingan. However, it takes more than good taijutsu to make it as an employee of Karasu no Konoha Studios Ryu. Let's see what else you can do." he muttered to himself.

As Itachi talked to himself out of range of the two fighters, they began to summon their preferred weapons. Ryu pulled out a scroll and, after biting his thumb, swiped blood over it. In a poof of smoke, an eight foot long, wicked looking spear appeared. The shaft was solid black with a jagged yellow line spiraling around the shaft up to the tip that looked just like a massive lightning bolt. The tip of the spear was about two to three inches long and was made of gleaming silver and, if you looked closely, you could see a small spark jump from one side of the tip to the other.

Windmaster, on the other hand, had reached for his belt, and the lasso that he had strapped there. After pulling it off, he snapped the rope out while channeling chakra into it. As the rope stretched and lengthened, it began to morph into a slate grey length of chain, about seven feet long, although with more chakra, it could extend further. While this it might not seem as much of a weapon, it was the additional features that gave the chain its lethality. There was a six inch steel spike attached to the end of the chain that even appeared to have dried blood stains on it. In addition to the spike, there were other smaller spike on every third chain link or so after the first two and a half feet of chain. This small spike, when motionless, might not be much of a threat, but when the chain was spun, or wind chakra was channeled, they became deadly.

"What is it with you and that lasso of yours, you crazy cowboy, first rope, now a wicked chain, you into BDSM or something?" deadpanned Ryu.

WM's eyes darkened and he scowled for a moment before smirking. "Oh and I suppose your any better you Wally West wannabee, what with all the lightning symbols and that massive spear. You trying to compensate for a lack of something, hmm?" sneered WM.

Ryu blushed brightly before yelling back, "No, I just happen to favor a spear as a weapon. But enough of this banter, let's see who's weapon is better, you and that chain, and that beast of a hammer, I know you have, or my spear."

"Fine, you're on," grinned WM. And so, Once more, the two friends clashed. Ryu quickly closed the distance between them and jabbed his spear forward at WM. However, he only hit air; literally, as WM used his signature Demon Wind Teleport, which is his more advanced Shunshin jutsu. Another gust of wind later, and WM reappeared at the tree line, spinning his chain above him. Ryu turned quickly, sensing WM's release of chakra, only to come face to face with a speeding spike surrounded by a wind blade. He blanched and quickly jumped up, the chain passing a few inches below him, just enough to dodge the wind. Ryu then spun his spear and slammed it down on the chain pinning it to the ground. He landed on the ground, avoiding the still swirling wind chakra, and charged at WM.

Windmaster saw the charge and growled. He reached to his belt and pulled out his hammer while channeling chakra to it. The handle instantly lengthened to about four and a half feet with white lines and swirls decorating the black metal shaft. The head of the hammer morphed into a ten inch wide rectangular hunk of steel with the same white lines running over it. Finally the shaft of the hammer extended past the head into a four inch spike between the two halves of the head. This entire transformation took only a split second, allowing WM to charge at Ryu while retracting the chain with his free hand. The two met again in the middle of the field, hammer meeting spear shaft. Ryu switched his grip to that of a staff and began to swing the spear around him while trying to slam it down onto WM However, WM had the advantage of a more maneuverable close range weapon and was therefore able to deflect the blow to the side and slam the head of the hammer into Ryu's chest, sending him rocketing backwards into another tree.

Ryu slowly climbed to his feet and looked across the field at his best friend and rival. WM looked back as well and both were panting, but they couldn't help but grin.

"You're pretty good with that spear, Ryu. If I hadn't had so much practice with my weapon of choice, I'd probably be in your position right now," panted WM.

"Yeah, I knew you were good with that hammer and chain, but not this good. It's taken everything I've got just to keep up with you right now. It seems I still need more work with my spear."

Don't worry about it man. It took me a long time to get as good with my weapons as I am today. Keep working and you'll get better. But now, let's fight the way we both were born to fight. Fists, feet and steel are all well and good, partner, but we both know that our respective strengths are our elemental ninjutsu," smiled WM.

"That's true, my friend, even before I left the studio, I was still a ninjutsu specialist, only now I have a more specialized ninjutsu style."

"Alright, enough talk you two, get back to the fight before I go Tsukiyomi on your butts" growled Itachi.

"Yes, sir," they both yelled before speeding through handsigns. They both finished their respective seals at the same time and yelled out their jutsu.

"Lightning style: Twin Thunder Bolt"

"Wind Style: Massive Great Breakthrough"

The two jutsu collided in the middle of the field, a massive gust of wind from WM's palms, and two lightning bolts, one from each palm of Ryu. The resulting explosion through up a cloud of dust and debris that shielded them from each other. As the dust began to clear, Ryu looked around but found that WM had disappeared. Then from above, he heard a cry of "Wind Style: Harpy Talon Dive."

He glanced up and blanched as he saw WM falling from the sky with harpy wings made of wind on his back and his left leg extended out, covered in wind in the shape of talons. Ryu quickly leapt back as WM crashed into the ground right where he was previously. Before the dust could settle, Ryu sped through another series of seals and called out its name, "Lightning Style: Fist of Raijin," as electricity began to course through the metal embedded into his gauntlets, basically turning his forearms into generators. He then slammed his fists together so that the electricity became concentrated on his right arm. Once the technique was complete, Ryu charged toward the dust cloud.

Meanwhile Windmaster heard the shout and smirked. It seemed Ryu wanted a close quarter ninjutsu clash. Well, he'd give him one. He sped through a quick ten seals and then slid his right palm from his left fingertips up to his elbow. When finished, a swirling cone of wind encased his left forearm. "Wind Style: Vortex Drill," whispered WM. It was at that point that the dust began to clear and so WM began to charge at where he knew Ryu to be. As he emerged from the dust, they both spotted each other and smirked when they saw their opponent's jutsu. They dashed toward each other and brought their jutsus forward and clashed them together. They struggled against each other until the jutsu's began to collapse, so right before they exploded the two canceled their techniques and jumped back. Ryu sped through another series of seals before WM could react and launched a single massive thunder bolt from his hands at WM while calling out "Lightning Style: Zeus Cannon."

Windmaster looked up at the crackling and smirked before conducting his own set of seals and yelling out, "Wind Style: Fuji-ta Counter." The single bolt of lightning slammed into an F-5 Tornado that suddenly whipped up in front of WM. After struggling for half a second, the lightning bolt was spun around the tornado and shot back toward a wide eyed Ryu while the Tornado dissipated. Ryu, too stunned to move, was struck by the bolt and screamed, until his body sparked and exploded due to the contact of the bolt.

"Crap," muttered WM, "a shock clone. But then where is..," before he was cut off by an electrical current. Ryu had snuck up behind WM and nailed him with another fist of Raijin. Ryu smirked, thinking he had the upper hand, that is, until WM dissipated into a gust of wind.

"Damn, vortex clone. I always did hate that move," grumbled Ryu as he panted from the strain of that last technique. He was getting tired and he had to bet that WM was too. Suddenly he saw WM appear on the far side of the field and so he appeared as well.

"You've gotten a whole lot better Ryu. I haven't had a fight this good since the time I accidentally shredded Jiraiya's research notes," chuckled WM.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. This is the best fight I've had since I stole Yugito's sushi while I was passing through Kumo. Man, that was one angry kunoichi," cringed Ryu.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting wiped; won't be able to continue much longer," stated Ryu.

"Yeah, same here. Whadda ya say, we finish this with are strongest jutsu?" asked WM.

"Sounds like a plan. Just so you know, I created this jutsu for this very fight," Ryu said.

"Heh, well I'll have you know, that I've never had to use this jutsu in combat and was saving it for this fight as well," laughed WM, "Lets see who is truly stronger. Give me your best shot."

"I intend to," spoke Ryu and with that they both sped into hand seals once more. The frightening aspect of this clash was the sheer number of seals that each combatant was performing. They had been forming seals for almost two minutes and weren't even finished! Finally, they finished their hand seals, and with all confidence, yelled out their ultimate jutsus:

"Wind Style: Terror of the Sky!"

"Lightning Style: Aztec Death!"

The clouds began to whip up into a storm as these two massive jutsu were released. The first reaction came from Ryu's side as lightning began to crackle above him before it condensed and slammed into the ground behind him in one massive bolt of lightning. When the smoke cleared, the lightning could be seen taking shape. Had anyone been part of the audience watching the fight, they would have run for cover at the sight of a fifteen foot tall skeleton made of lightning behind Ryu. The skeleton wore nothing except for a feathery headdress, similar to that of the Aztec priests. He did however; carry a spear almost as tall as him. This manifestation of Ryu's jutsu might have frightened anyone else, but not WM. Almost the instant that Ryu's jutsu finished, the wind that had been gathering formed around WM into an F5 tornado, shielding WM from view. However, the tornado soon vanished into the clouds above. But before Ryu could even raise an eyebrow, dozens or even hundreds of gusts of wind burst from the clouds and surrounded WM. When they stopped moving, Ryu was able to see that they were all in the forms of several species of birds.

"Like it Ryu, I've never shown this technique to anyone. It uses up a massive amount of chakra, even for me, but in return it manifests the very spirit of the sky into her mortal avatars, the raptors of the earth. I may not be able to move while using this jutsu, but with each of my avian gusts serving their own purpose, I can't be beat," WM calmly stated.

"Not bad, WM, but don't count me out yet. My jutsu may not have as many separate parts as yours, but it is just as powerful. During my travels I came across a few ancient manuscripts that described an ancient warrior civilization. In one of those texts, it mentioned their gods, and wouldn't you know it, one of them embodied lightning. My jutsu calls on that very god, Xolotl, to fight for me. As you can see behind me, like the very lightning I control, he will bring about your end in a flash. Now to show you what both he and I have got. Thunder Clap."

The great skeleton behind Ryu rose up and slammed his skeletal palms together, and much to the shock of WM, a vertical wave of lightning was released at him. However, with a wave of his hand, a few of his birds, in the shape of albatross and ospreys, flew out to intercept the wave. Under the stunned watch of Ryu, the birds absorbed the energy of the wave, and glowing, flew towards him. But Ryu had a counter of his own. The ribcage of Xolotl broke off and formed a barrier in front of him just as the birds hit and exploded against it.

Ryu, shocked, yelled out, "what the hell was that!?"

"That, my friend, was the power of the osprey and albatross part of my jutsu. You see each of my birds have a different specialty. The albatross and osprey are able to absorb the energy of any ranged elemental attacks and then kamikaze themselves against you by blowing that energy up. So, I'd be careful if I were you," grinned WM.

"I can see that, however, I'm not out yet after just one move," smirked Ryu as the Xolotl slammed his hand down onto the ground, and when he pulled back, ten hounds of different species made of lightning stood there.  
With a wave of his hand, Ryu sent them charging at WM.

"That won't work Ryu. Not with my avian army." And with two waves of his arms, a flock of vultures flew down to intercept and destroy the hounds while another flock, this time of eagles flew straight toward Ryu, this time flying around and through the ribcage barrier. The birds began to peck and slash at Ryu while he couldn't move due to his jutsu. However, WM was not unscathed either. While his vultures had taken out nine of the hounds at the cost of them, one hound, a very annoying Chihuahua, had gotten through and was able to score a few hits on WM as well before an army of pigeons destroyed it.

Both fighters were now injured, however, WM was able to recover first and commanded another flock of eagles to attack the head of Ryu's skeleton while another flock, this time of hawks and falcons, was ordered to dive bomb Ryu. Meanwhile, seeing this, and knowing that without his torso, Xolotl was incapacitated, he commanded the ribcage shield to return and for Xolotl to move in front of him in order to block most of the falcons while defending against the eagles attacking his head. And so it went that Xolotl smacked away the birds with the shaft of his spear while they slowly chipped away at his lightening bones. Ryu meanwhile was able to block most of the hawks and falcons that attacked him and countered the rest with more hounds created from a bit more of Xolotl's energy.

Windmaster was also striking out at even more hounds that had been sent at him. His birds were doing a great job at defending him and lashing out at Ryu, but occasionally one or two would get by and shock him. Finally, there came a lull in the animal clashes. During this time, Ryu and WM were able to get a good look at each other. They were both covered in dirt and scratches; Ryu had several deep lacerations on his limbs while WM's limbs were occasionally twitching due to the excess electricity that hit them. They glanced each other in the eyes and grinned.

"It seems even after all that, we are still evenly matched. Dang, and I was hoping I'd have ended it by now," spoke Ryu.

"Don't worry about it Ryu. You've put up a great fight. I haven't been pushed this far in a long time. You've learned your skills well, my friend. After seeing all this, Itachi will have to take you back on the crew. But before that, what do you say we end this. We both are tired and I've only got enough for one more move. Luckily, my Terror of the Sky Jutsu has one final attack," declared WM.

"Deal, WM. I've only got enough for one more move as well. Let's finish this, partner. One final clash, winner take all?" asked Ryu.

"Agreed," said WM.

And so, with that, they both channeled every bit of chakra they had left into their respective jutsus. They both knew that they would be feeling every bit of this in the morning, but they weren't ready to give up. And so, the final forms of their jutsu were revealed with their offerings of chakra. Xolotl began to dissipate until he was nothing more than a single bolt of lightning that was absorbed into his spear that was left behind. The spear then grew to massive proportions, becoming almost twenty feet in length.

Meanwhile, the remaining birds around WM, about half of what he started with, began to swirl around him and then fly up into the clouds above. WM then called out to Ryu, "Prepare yourself my friend, your final form may be that spear. However, mine happens to be one of the deadliest birds to ever grace the skies above. Behold, Wind Style Summoning: Ancient Storm Wing!"

It was at WM's call that a massive gust of wind flew down from the clouds and hovered behind WM. It was revealed to be an Argentavis Magnificens, or Giant Teratorn, the largest flying bird to ever live.

"Impressive Windmaster. You truly live up to your name. My final form has no name, but it remains powerful all the same. I can feel it, WM. This clash will show us who truly is the stronger shinobi," grunted Ryu.

"Yes, it will. Now let's finish this once and for all. Go my Teratorn."

"Go, my Xolotl Spear."

"FINAL CLASH!!"

At their master's calls, the Teratorn and the giant spear charged toward each other, time seemed to slow and they could not help but to look back on the time they spent together, fought together, and against each other. As time returned to normal, and the two jutsu collided and exploded against each other, lightning versus wind, both Ryu and WM couldn't help but grin at the strength that the other showed. Even as they were blown back by the explosion, and slammed into two trees, they never lost their grin. As they lay on the ground, they both were able to look up once again at each other, and their grins conveyed their unspoken message, we fought, we struggled, we drew, but throughout, we never lost faith. It's good to have each other's backs again. Welcome back Ryu. Thanks WM. And with that, they both collapsed unconscious, but still grinning.

Slowly, as the clearing quieted, soft footsteps were heard as Itachi reappeared on the scene. On the outside, he appeared normal. However, if one was able to peer past his emotionless facade they would see pride and confidence due to the fight he just witnessed.

"Well Ryu, you truly have grown. You've become strong, and even I wonder how I would fair against you. Both you and WM showed that you have what it takes to be a part of Karasu no Konoha Studios. Welcome Back."

And with that, he created a shadow clone and, picking up the two boys, began the trek back to Konohagakure.

However, little did he know, that soon he and his crew would be hard pressed to monopolize the television market? For someone else had discovered what Itachi was up to and they would not stand for it. No sir, they would not. They began to form their own plans and before long they were ready to compete against and destroy Karasu no Konoha Studios. The only sign that they even existed was a simple logo. A logo that had anyone seen it and understood the meaning behind it, would have shook in fear. For as the clouds parted and allowed the light to shine on a large building in isolation, the logo was revealed; a large red cloud with three purple rings inside of it while three tomoes were encased within them. What does this mean for Itachi and his crew? Only time will tell.

AN: Tell me what you think.


End file.
